A conversation with Bella Cascarini
Recorded on 26 March 2021. Duration 52 mins approx.
Bella’s pronouns are she/her, and she is a trans woman – with more emphasis on the woman part than the trans part. Find out what that means to Bella in this episode.
We also talk about what affects how we’re perceived, how noticing small moments of genuine happiness can give us clarity and help embrace our identity, finding a name that feels right, what settling into femininity can look like, how films and tv are problematic when it comes to gender representation, hurdles on the coming out journey, working through shame, trusting your gut, and accepting your light and your dark, to your bones.
“You can’t really hide from your true self. You can’t hide from what feels true to you.”
TRANSCRIPT [expand to read] – COMING SOON
“Femininity is a big thing for me. Like the word, which is fun to say, but annoying to spell, but also kind of funny to look at, there sure as hell is nothing ‘mini’ about it! I love for the trans part of my identity to be acknowledged, but like with mental health, which does not define a person – though some may understandably believe it does, since it can feel like it consumes you – I do not wish for my trans identity to fully define me. I may not speak in a ‘feminine’ voice, but that does not mean I am not feminine. And I hope I can show others how femininity is not necessarily defined the way it so often is in cartoons, with ‘feminine’ voices, wide hips and curvy figures. Though as a trans woman, I long for HRT to change my body shape so I recognise myself more, I accept my bones for what they are. Because that part of me, as hard as it can be to accept it sometimes, has always been feminine. Even if what’s on the outside may lead others to disagree, I know that I am female. To my very bones.”
You can find Bella on their blogs rosassinarose.wordpress.com (about trans-related stuff) and theperksofbeingastarvingwriter.wordpress.com (about personal, non-trans related stuff, included but not limited to weirdness, childhood and writing).
What we discussed & useful links
- Taylor Swift – Shake It Off
- Frank N. Furter of The Rocky Horror Picture Show
- Rosalina in the Super Mario Galaxy game
- Sam Puckett in iCarly
- Vanellope in Wreck-It Ralph
- Camicazi in the How To Train Your Dragon book series by Cressida Cowell
- The TV series Friends (1994-2004) and how it is transphobic
- Films: Life of Brian, Silence of the Lambs, Ace Ventura; Pet Detective, Some Like It Hot, Moxie
- Edalia – episode 4
- Disclosure documentary on Netflix
- Transgender Day of Visibility (March 31st)
- Norwich & Norfolk Trans & Gender support
- Brené Brown books (Bella was referring to Daring Greatly)
- The artist who made the ‘Trans Tree of Life’ – RedRootz Creations
- The song ‘Sonate Pacifique’ by L’Impératrice
- Songs from Frozen 2: ‘Show Yourself’ and ‘Into The Unknown’