Creator. Artist. Rebel with a cause. Budding writer and podcaster. Magic maker. Intuitive. Mother of cats. Cisgender, pansexual, queer, and a dedicated ally to the gender-diverse.

Fifty Shades of Gender podcast graphic with Kai Grey

84. KAI GREY – trans-masculine, transgender, queer (non-binary)

Kai is trans-masculine, transgender, queer, and a tad non-binary. We also talk about the importance of representation, experiencing intimacy and sex and navigating expected as well as unexpected changes being on T (testosterone), consent and re-establishing boundaries, separating masculinity and femininity from body parts, qualities, and dynamics like dominance & submission, and never being done with transitioning. [Transcript coming soon.]

Fifty Shades of Gender podcast graphic with Lola Phoenix

83. LOLA PHOENIX – agender, non-binary, queer

Lola is agender, non-binary, and queer. We also talk about being accidentally gender non-conforming, not relating to normative experiences, prioritising action over language, the power in choosing our response, what we do versus who we are, the similarities between an unconventional gender journey and exploring alternative relationship styles, solidarity and the need to unite, the importance of understanding and regulating our nervous system, and being safe within ourselves. [Transcript coming soon.]

Fifty Shades of Gender podcast graphic with Angela Locashio

82. ANGELA LOCASHIO – autistic, queer, genderqueer woman

Angela is an autistic, queer, genderqueer woman. We also talk about following social scripts and role playing, how authenticity and performance are not mutually exclusive, vulnerability, understanding all parts of ourselves, how we are wired to choose acceptance over authenticity, being yourself in the workplace, the intersection between gender and neurodivergence, and how we are all normal. [Transcript coming soon.]

Fifty Shades of Gender podcast graphic with Fleassy Malay

81. FLEASSY MALAY – queer, gender-diverse, neurodiverse, genderfluid woman

Fleassy is a queer, gender-diverse, neurodiverse genderfluid woman.. We also talk about embracing the validity of the phases we go through, belonging in both women’s spaces and queer spaces, inclusive language and adding more nuance to conversations, internalised shame and being willing to confront our own conditioning, having observations rather than answers, how sacred rage can change the world, and playing in all the spaces. [Transcript coming soon.]

Fifty Shades of Gender podcast graphic with Anne Hodder-Shipp

80. ANNE HODDER-SHIPP – queer femme, neurodivergent, ADHD (agender, non-binary, demigirl)

Anne is a queer femme. They’re also neurodivergent with a recent ADHD diagnosis. She doesn’t have language that totally feels right, but says that sometimes agender, non-binary, and demigirl work. We also talk about not having a sense of belonging, feeling safe in your skin, self-soothing and meeting yourself where you’re at, upholding meaning over language at all cost, how the gender binary is weaponised, that a new awareness of reality is often accompanied by a mourning process, looking at love languages through a different lens, and reframing the concepts of love, touch, and relationships. [Transcript coming soon.]

Fifty Shades of Gender podcast graphic with Christine Tokley

79. CHRISTINE TOKLEY – trans woman, non-conforming, disabled, neurodivergent

Christine identifies as a trans woman and is also non-conforming, disabled and neurodivergent. We also talk about how the spectrum of physical biological sex and that of the social construct of gender overlap, the idea of sex dysphoria rather than gender dysphoria, medical transition vs social transition and being comfortable on the inside first, supporting people in a way that works for them, the difference in how we all perceive reality including gender, the need for nuance as well as simplification, how being aware of intention can benefit communication, and building bridges between our understanding and others’. [Transcript coming soon.]

Fifty Shades of Gender podcast graphic with Claire Prosho

78. CLAIRE PROSHO – transgender woman, bisexual, ADHD

Claire is a transgender woman. We also talk about the lack of female role models in the 70s, trying to reconcile the expected side and the authentic side of us, the entanglement of gender, mental health and neurodivergence, feeling like yourself for the first time, reframing gendered activities, Identifying as vs identifying with, gender alignment rather than transition, and having more stories to tell. [Transcript coming soon.]

Fifty Shades of Gender podcast graphic with Jenn

77. JENN – genderfree, autistic, fat

Jenn is genderfree, and she also gave us the labels autistic and fat. We also talk about choosing your own gender badges, the absurdity of assigned gender roles, being conscious of gender-neutral language, how autism in women is underdiagnosed, the limited choices when it comes to clothes, the balance of body neutrality, the various struggles fat people face, and putting the rainbow first rather than it being an afterthought. [Transcript coming soon.]

Fifty Shades of Gender podcast graphic with Skin

76. SKIN – queer

Skin is a queer person. We talk about stepping stones to new language, the obsession with beauty in the gay community, breaking gender roles, given names and designing your own sense of self, a cultural sense of identity, expanding on feminism, marriage and motherhood, chosen family and learning how to love each other, staying open and giving people a chance to change their minds, and how we need to join forces and stop fighting each other. [Transcript coming soon.]

Fifty Shades of Gender podcast graphic for Reflections (part 3) with Katy Jon Went & Esther Lemmens

75. Reflections (part 3) – discoveries so far

In this third Reflections episode, Katy interviews Esther as she reflects on further conversations she’s had with gender-diverse folks, what she’s learned about gender, as well as her own journey and how she and the podcast have evolved. We also talk about imposter syndrome, intuition and following the flow, prioritising self-care, expanding on pronouns, improvising and thinking on the spot, reclaiming labels, coming out of the spiritual closet, how the lines between being on the outside and being on the inside are blurring, and that being an ally benefits us all; not just those we are being allies for. [Transcript coming soon.]